Doctor appointments...

Have never been so fun!

I've always hated going to the doctor... until now. Especially these last two times. Being able to see Phoenix on that ultrasound... it's amazing. It's beautiful. And it's even slightly terrifying.

Here's the sonogram pictures from today:

Isn't it strange how something black & white and grainy can be so cute? I love these profile shots - seeing his little nose is adorable. I can't wait to actually be able to boop his nose! He kept touching his face and moving around. And his mouth even moved as if he were chewing! Already practicing for when he's in the real world :) My, oh my, it's amazing how even though he's so small, he's so efficient. I got to watch his four chamber (that's right - FOUR CHAMBERS) heart beat and it was wonderful. The doctor said that Phoenix is completely healthy - which of course was so nice to hear.

I still have 18 weeks to go, and I'm already SO EXCITED to meet Phoenix. I can't wait to watch him grow up and develop his own personality. I've heard that boys are so adventurous and so much fun to raise. But even with that... I get so nervous. I mean, mini panic attack nervous. I know absolutely nothing about raising a baby! Especially a boy. He's going to be 100% dependent upon me and Matthew. But I feel like he's reallllly going to be dependent on me, since I want to breastfeed. I've had numerous dreams where I've forgotten to feed my baby. They're so scary, and they make me so super nervous. I don't know how I'm going to do this. Am I truly ready to be a mom?

Sometimes I can't even believe I get to be a mom. I thank God every day for giving me this beautiful gift. It's such a blessing and such a miracle. It amazes me every day that my body is growing this human! I mean, come on! He started from one tiny, itty bitty cell, and now he's an 8 inch long, one pound baby! How does this even happen? God has made us so beautifully and even though I may complain about the aches and pains, I feel so lucky that I get to carry Phoenix until he's ready to make his entrance into this world.